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Flopping uteri.

June 21, 2011

Is it uteruses or uteri? 

The nurses, technicians, and doctors at our hospital are great. Our hospital has some jokesters too, namely one of the anesthesiologists. Now, me being the smart-ass that I am, appreciates the humor while people are prodding around inside my body cavity, especially as c-sections can get fairly boring for the person on the table.   Here are a couple things that were discussed in the OR this time around that made me chuckle:

 • A little back story…. I pretty much rival the Good Year blimp when I’m pregnant, and that’s really not an exaggeration. For about the last 2 month of my pregnancy, I get “you must be due any minute” comments on a daily basis. When they find out I still have a good 2+ months left, the looks I get are quite comical. While prepping my back for the spinal, the anesthesiologist said, “Wow, you’re the thinnest person I’ve giving a spinal to in a while. It’s a nice change.” The funny thing about this statement is that he was SERIOUS. Dude, if me at 10 months pregnant is the thinnest person you’ve given a spinal to in the last bit, this county has some serious problems with obesity.

• I’m lounging on the table, making song requests to the anesthesiologist who plays DJ while the docs are sewing me up, when he says the following: “In a minute, you’re going to feel a HUGE, elephant-like weight on your chest. That would be your uterus. They’ll just flop your uterus up there while they go in there and tie up your tubes.” When he said this, the first thing I could think to say was, “So you’re saying I’ve got a big uterus, huh?” While none of the information from the drug dude bothered me, he may want to keep a couple things in mind for patients that are a bit less of a sarcastic smart-ass than I: 1) I’m not sure it’s ever wise to compare any portion of a woman to an elephant, even her uterus. 2) You may want to refrain from using the term “flop” when referring to a woman’s body parts, even the internal ones – “flop” makes me think of either sagging things or something “flopping” onto the ground, neither of which sound very appealing when in reference to a body part. Should you ever find yourself in need of a procedure at the Baker hospital, I highly recommend you request the anesthesiologist that moonlights as a comedian – it makes getting cut open that much more entertaining.



June 20, 2011

As Beau will be turning 3 months in just a matter of days, it’s probably time he make an appearance on the blog.  So, without further adieu, meet the newest addition to the Briels Bunch…..



Beau Allen Briels

Born March 23, 2011, at 7:35 am

Weighing in at 8 pounds, 13 ounces, and measuring 20 ½ inches long.



It feels GREAT to have our family now complete.  With our third child here, my uterus is now closed for business.  Since all 3 boys were delivered via cesarean, we had the doctors tie things up while they were in there.  I gave them strict instructions to super glue, double knot, and JB Weld those things shut.  Three boys in three years is plenty for us.  Besides, I think my uterus would stage a coup if I tried to push it any farther. 


Monday, Monday.

February 7, 2011

Ugh, 6:00 felt VERY early this morning.  I think that’s the case every Monday-after-Super-Bowl.  Actually, I think that’s the case every morning when I’m pregnant, being as how I have to get up every hour and a half to go pee, thanks to this lovely little nugget inside of me that is currently being referred to as Greg the Egg.  But I digress.

Once again, we gathered at our house for Super Bowl.  Now, this is most definitely not because we have the biggest house or nicest TV (we are far from having either).  It’s simply because it’s kid and dog friendly and there are plenty of “toys” to keep the wee ones, the big ones, and the furry ones entertained.   Here’s a run-down of things that kept us entertained this year, other than the big game:

  • Fetch between the kids and dogs
  • Jeep big wheels fun for the kiddos – Nolan was becoming a pro at getting himself unstuck
  • 4-wheeler wheelies by the kiddos
  • Foosball for the kids of ALL sizes, especially the husbands/daddies
  • Trains, crayons, and cartoons
  • Swing sets
  • Shop “stuff” – when all of the guys disappear into the shop together, I don’t ask questions (I’m MUCH better off not knowing)
  • Food – SO MUCH FOOD


Here’s what we didn’t get to, but will be in the wings waiting for the next big get-together:

  • Geo derby cars – regular redneck fun, driving the Geo Metro and Geo Storm in the back pasture, usually up the snow piles.
  • Chicken petting zoo – we (I use this term VEY loosely) are now wranglers of 24 chickens, which the kids love.
  • Golf ball target practice – shooting golf balls out of a potato cannon, the goal being to see who can get closest to whatever target we place out in the pasture.


And these would be reasons why we CANNOT live in town or near neighbors.  Well, some of the reasons anyway – there are many more things that would be frowned upon by neighbors, I’m sure.

It was a GREAT day, filled with friends, fun, and so much FOOD!!  While I love it all, the food is always the magic that makes it all come together.  I LOVE the food that gets brought to get-togethers – it’s a lovely little schmorgasboard, and I make sure that no food feels unloved.  My butt can vouch for that.  After yesterday, tonight’s dinner is going to be such a disappointment.

Move over Martha.

January 17, 2011

I think I’m channeling my inner Martha Stewart as of late. No, I’m not going all crafty on you – although I have enough craft supplies stashed in my office to do something really fun, I seem to be VERY lacking in the time department, so that won’t be happening anytime soon. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe it’s not Martha I’m channeling, but more like Frugal Fergie. I may have just created Frugal Fergie, but it sounds better than “channeling my inner tight-ass” – and by “tight ass” I mean cheap, as there is nothing tight about my 7+ month pregnant ass. But, I digress…..

I heard somewhere that you can make your own laundry detergent. Now, this was a while back and my first thought was, why would anyone want to do that?! When I hear that you can make something from scratch, my natural train of thought goes something like this….. by the time you invest all the time and hassle in making it yourself, and the fact that you probably have left over supplies that you can’t do anything with, you really didn’t save much of anything but received a whole lot of headache in the process. Not worth it. But, after seeing this homemade laundry detergent on a few blogs that I happen to really like, I looked into it a bit more.

Turns out, it’s actually super easy, super cheap, few ingredients, and a few others have done tests on it and said it worked just as well as Tide. Well, by gosh, I’m in. So, while I haven’t made it yet (that darn thing called “time” keeps eluding me, but I’ll catch it one of these days), I do have everything on my washing machine just begging me to take the 5 minutes and do it. It’s on my to-do list this week, which makes it very much a possibility (if it’s not on the list, fuhget about it). And here’s another big bonus…. while I’ll have some ingredients left, those can also be used in creating my own dishwasher detergent, homemade Comet, and homemade 409.

So basically, for the $6.00 of “stuff” I bought, I can make a whole pile of cleaning supplies, only needing to add basics that I already have on hand like dish soap and vinegar. Now that I can handle. I’ll let you know how it all goes, but right now, I’m feeling pretty darn confident. I’m thinking I may add some essential oil to the 409 mixture so that it smells pretty too. See, I told you I was channeling Martha!

An award…

January 14, 2011

That’s right, an award.  An award for me.  I’m pretty sure after this last leave of absence; I’m entitled to the Super Slacker Blogger Award.  It may be self titled and self awarded, but it’s mine all the same.  And really, who’s going to argue with me over that one? 

I’m going to attempt to get caught up on some posts this weekend.  That being said, I promise no rhyme or reason to the posts or their order.  At this point, if the sentences are somewhat coherent, consider it mission accomplished.  At some point, you have to quit making the goal to run a marathon and settle for the goal of walking 2 blocks to the bank rather than driving.  That’s just a metaphor people – #1, the odds of me making a goal to run a marathon are slim to none and #2, I would totally NOT drive for a 2 block errand, unless of course it’s snowing, raining, or we’re in the middle of a slush fest like we currently are, then it’s TOTALLY justified. 

And on that note, I leave you now.  I leave so that I can add “blog” to my to-do list.  So what if it’s already a mile long for things that should be done by the end of the weekend.  I said they “should” be done, not “need” to be done, thus I’m sure something on there can scoot down the list in order to make way for blogging.  After all, who needs to make enchiladas for dinner when popcorn is a totally accepted meal.

“Coo-pons” or “Q-pons”

October 15, 2010

However you pronouce that lovely little word, it is my friend this week. 

Remember the other week when I was having issues with finding bedding for the boys’ big boy room?  Well, thanks to JCPenny having a bit more of a sale and then a bonus 20% off coupon that I received in the mail, the price of the boys bedding that I’ve been coveting finally entered into my “reasonable to pay for a KIDS TWIN quilt” price range.

Hopefully, in another week, the boys’ room will be one step closer to looking like a bedroom rather than a catch all.  With any luck, in another few weeks, we’ll find out that I can get rid of the blue that’s still claiming the nursery too.  Although truth be told, even if #3 is another little boy, I think the blue still has to go.   Too much of the same – 3 kids having the same nursery just seems a bit on the blah side to me.  Now, if I could just wrangle someone into taking the boys while I go on a massive painting binge…..

It’s a conspiracy I tell you!

September 27, 2010

Why is it that the only bedding for boys fall into one of the following categories:

                              1)  It’s covered with a lifesize rendition of a superhero/character.

                              2)  It has more sports ball on it than a gym at PE time.

                              3)  It looks like a zoo – literally.

                              4)  It costs over $100.

Who spends over $100 on a quilt for a little kid?  Not this cheap ass frugal mother.  Let’s be honest, the quilt’s going to be peed on at least a couple times – while my 2.5 year old is pretty good when it comes to being potty trained, he still has the occassional night time accident (this may have something to do with the fact that he chugs 2 cups of chocolate milk before bed and insist on having his sippy cup reside on his beside table at bedtime.  Whatever.).  Then you have to add in the fact that the ridiculously furry cat and the 90 pound sheds-like-it’s-her-job lab both insist on sleeping on the bed with him (which I actually LOVE, as it means they’re NOT sleeping with me.).  And lastly, I don’t even spend $100 on bedding for myself, and I know how to appreciate it.

Now, if I were looking for bedding for a girl, I’d be set – they have tons of cute, cheap options for girl’s (things that don’t involve animials, Hannah Montana, or flowers galore).  But for boys, not so much.  I found this one that I like….

So of course they want $60 for a TWIN!  Now, that might not be so bad, except that I need two of them for the boys’ big boy room.  I just don’t think I can bring myself to pay $120 for bedding for the boys’ room.  Surely I can come up with something similar but much cheaper.  Any ideas?